My religious "awakening" has little to do
with buying into a belief system, but has everything to do with Jesus. I love everything about him,
even his bursts of anger, because they make him so deeply human.
In A World
Waiting To Be Born Dr. Scott Peck writes that he became a Christian after
twenty years of dabbling with Zen Buddhism. He maintains that, without this
training, he couldn’t have accepted the paradoxes of Christianity. Like me, he
read the gospels for the first time in the second half of his life and that was
it. Here is how he describes the effect they had on him:
"I was absolutely thunderstruck by the
extraordinary reality of the man I found in the Gospels. I discovered a man who
was almost continually frustrated. His frustration leaps out of virtually every
page…I also discovered a man who was frequently sad and sometimes depressed, frequently
anxious and scared. A man who was prejudiced on one occasion, although he was
able to overcome that prejudice and transcend it in healing love. A man who was
terribly, terribly lonely, yet often desperately needed to be alone. I
discovered a man so incredibly real that no one could have made him up. “
No one would have made him so human, if the
purpose was to turn him into God. The evangelists were doing their best to
report accurately what they were told, even though they did not always
understand it. Those who let the gospels speak to their heart will literally
“meet” Jesus, this man who had so little peace of mind but so much wisdom, and
will fall in love with him. Christianity is all about falling in love with
Jesus, and for the atheist this is both despicable and inexplicable. I can
accept the latter, in fact it’s difficult to explain in rational terms the
reasons of faith, but I don’t see why it should be despicable. Love is what
makes the world a better place, it’s an innovating force. Political leaders
have been loved for their ideas, so why not a religious figure? A person who is
capable of falling in love with an abstraction (which will be perceived as real in time) is a person
capable of a higher level of spirituality, who can see beyond the material
world. Religion is not about believing in the supernatural, it’s about
experiencing something pure, transcendent, above our everyday concerns. Among
Christians one can meet people who take life seriously, who let go of their
shields and are open to one another.
I realize now that I’ve never taken my life
seriously, rather I’ve lived as if I was playing Russian Roulette. Fun, that’s all I wanted. I never
asked myself if I was being the person I really wanted to be, if I was living
up to my potential. It was the encounter with Jesus that saved me from my stupidity.
3 comments:
Wonderful post Antonella! I'm in love with Jesus too. In fact it's been said that all four Gospels in their own way ask the question, who is Jesus? There's a point He says Himself (I forget which Gospel it's in), "Who do you say I am?" I frequently imagine what it will be like to meet Him in heaven, if i should be so lucky to get there. At times I imagine Him as beyond human, larger than any person, and other times I imagine Him as a small middle eastern man from the 1st century, almost like just one of us. I hope there will be times where both are true.
Every night I look at a painting representing Him that I like very much and I imagine to meet Him in heaven. I think He's of ineffable beauty, like Padre Pio said.
Antonella, if you have the time, you must read this beautiful conversion story. It touched my heart.
http://www.catholicworldreport.com/Item/2187/Pope_Benedict_XVIs_First_Convert.aspx#.UW6pSL9qtSV
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