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Friday, March 16, 2012

My True Wedding

So my wedding day has come and gone. I wish we could do it again; it was beautiful.
For the first time, at age 55, I wore a white dress at my wedding: when I married my first husband I wore a purple sweater and a long light-golden skirt with blue flowers. That's all I remember of that day. I have no recollection at all of the ceremony in the church: In Italy, back then, everybody got married in the Church, even the non-believers, and that was my case. I was raised Catholic but I left the Church at age 13, when I finished high school in a religious institution. Going to a school run by nuns didn't exactly make me fall in love with Christianity. I hated our sober uniform and the obligation to daily prayers. Later, at the School of Art, I found everything I wanted: Freedom, excitement and, of course, boys. My first husband was a young teacher, although he didn't teach any of my classes. We got married when I turned 21. On the day of our wedding I completely lacked emotions, and soon enough I started having negative feelings about our marriage. We separated three years later.

I married my second and current husband at the Courthouse, just the two of us. Marrying him again in the church, in the presence of our son, was very sweet. We have already spent a life together and it wasn't always easy, but we made it because we always loved each other and because the Lord loves us. Now we have His blessing and His encompassing forgiveness. Our son, who is an atheist, tried very hard to avoid coming to church, but I didn't let him off the hook. He came with his best friend and they were our witnesses.
Later we had a nice reception with our friends, who were wonderful and affectionate. I'm going to create a photo-album on Facebook, so we'll never loose the memories of this precious moment.

And so I'm finally allowed to take the Eucharist. I was afraid that it wouldn't mean anything to me, as it didn't mean anything when I was a young girl. But I should have had no fear. Communion is a very intimate moment with Jesus Christ, almost sensual: I eat and taste my redemption.
In my love for Christ there is an element of my love for my husband. When I met Jesus, like when I met my husband, I recognized them as one would recognize a loving face in a crowd. The attraction was irresistible. They both turned my life around, but it was Jesus who changed me to the core of my being and gave me peace.