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Monday, April 22, 2013

Perspectives From Another World


 
By now you have certainly guessed that my son is playing a big role in my writing. I want to put my thoughts on paper to better defend my new born faith. I have said that I fell in love with Jesus because the religious experience is very similar to the experience of falling in love. When I said that to Andrea I got this in response:
“That’s disgusting! If you want to be a moron, go ahead!”
 I never fully understood where the “disgusting” part came from. When I’m in the mood for flattering myself I think he was jealous. When I’m not, I concentrate on the “moron” and Andrea’s deep contempt for the dissolution of my intelligence in religious tales. But later he found out that even the famous atheists he admires so much have stressed the similarities between falling in love for a real person and for a supra-natural being. The two mental states have in common feelings of exaltation and euphoria, of warmth and mutual understanding. 
Of course these feelings are emotionally fulfilling, and once attained them one will be reluctant to let them go. Religion can certainly be consoling: If we have a problem, it provides hope. If we are living a difficult moment, it gives meaning to our suffering. And it’s beautiful to think that we are somehow eternal. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that we believe to keep our peace of mind, in fact other trials may arise when we surrender to God.
 
 I’ve never been afraid of dying. I’ve always been OK with the idea that my Self could be over when my 
body gives up. We are such an infinitesimal part of the universe, so limited by our human boundaries. But there have been moments when I’ve had a perception of a hidden reality, and those moments made me who I am today, a believer in the afterlife.
I’m not ashamed of linking my faith with this vague perception of another dimension, because if Jesus is alive, as I feel he is, he inhabits a dimension that is not our own. I also have a feeling that my father, who passed away a few years ago, is still there for me, watching me from another world. He felt deeply his role of parent, not as one who must function as a teacher of morals, but as one who is responsible for the well being of his children. His tendency to rule our lives, at least from a practical point of view, could become really overwhelming. I suspect that he would have a hard time leaving us on our own, even now that he’s not among us anymore. I bet he wouldn’t rest in peace until he knew that we were safe. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was watching over me, trying to put me on the right track.      
But I know that it was Jesus who showed me the way. Only when I found my faith I realized that I was wasting my life .

2 comments:

Manny said...

Wow, what a reaction your son had. You think it's jealousy? If he's an atheist how he be jealous of what he considers an unreal being?

Antonella said...

This happened some time ago. Now he accepts the idea that I love Jesus. Yes, I think he was jealous! Just because I love someone else, doesn't matter if he thinks he doesn't exist.